What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How Do You Fart Eat Beans

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

george goodburn is secretly mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A fat guy!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dead girls can't say no.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops