An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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What do I hate? people

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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