why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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