Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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