So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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