Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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