So a baby seal walks into a club

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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