Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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