I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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hi

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops