There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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