Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops