A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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PICKLES

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops