How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Major League Soccer

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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