what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Justin's life

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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