why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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