What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

i hate non minorities!

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

Brain fart

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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