What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

One time i was sitting down

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops