One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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