Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

What's white and horny? A unicorn

Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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