Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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Homo say what?

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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