Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

Chicken

What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

Colin is gay but toasters are not

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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