A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Women's Rights

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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where's mom I killed her

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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The WPGA tour

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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