your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY 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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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