One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Mogok Papiti.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops