What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops