What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Please don't shoot me

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops