What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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