What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

TIMMY

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

Women's professional sports

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...