What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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salad days!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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