The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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