Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Stephen Hawking

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How do you end a sentence

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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