How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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