Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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Justin's life

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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