Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's white and black? Color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

thumb_up thumb_down -39

FUCK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -39

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops