Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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