What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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