what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

thumb_up thumb_down +10

White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops