What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Please don't shoot me

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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