What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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69

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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