What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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