How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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I am a mime

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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A bar walks into a man

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops