What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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Justin Bieber.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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