What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops