knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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salad days!

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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