what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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