- Anti Joke

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

My mum is called Steve

Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

White men's rights