How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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