You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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