What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops