See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Pianos.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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