Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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hi michael

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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You sick fiend

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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